As I was reading Robert C. Solomon and Fernando Flores’s book Building Trust today, I created this thought experiment about trust, disappointment and choice.

Part One: Imagine a relationship in which you trust the other person in many, many ways, and the person always fulfills your trust. Whatever trust you give, the person never disappoints your trust. What thoughts do you have about this relationship? What feelings?

Now set those thoughts and feelings aside.

Part Two: Imagine a relationship in which you choose to trust the other person only when you see no possibility that the person will disappoint your trust. Whenever you see the slightest possibility of disappointment, you choose to withhold your trust. What thoughts do you have about this relationship? What feelings?

Part Three: Now compare your thoughts and feelings about these two imaginary relationships. Compare these imagined relationships to your real-life relationships. What do your comparisons tell you about trust? What does the possibility of disappointment have to do with trust? What does choice have to do with trust?

I’d love to hear your comments about this.